One Good Cheat Deserves Another
by Lone Wolfette
Summary: Lauren thinks Lenny's cheating on her... too bad she didn't find out all the facts before breaking up with him!


**One Good Cheat Deserves Another **

**ONE**   
dance studio, night 

Kristin is sitting in a chair, with Squiggy sitting next to her. 

Kristin (rubbing her feet)- Oh, my aching feet! I'm so glad you came, Squig! There's not way I coulda walked home after this day! 

Squiggy- Whadya want me to do, carry ya? 

Kristin- No, I meant you drove. You came to pick me up, right? 

Squiggy (stares blankly for a moment)- Uh... yeah! I did that! 

Kristin- I wish Lauren hadn't gone back East... or atleast she coulda left me the car. (she stands up slowly) Has Lenny flipped out yet? 

Squiggy- Naw. He went with the girls and Carmine to the movies. 

Kristin- I'll hafta thank Carmine for that! (she scoffs) Gives me his classes so he can go on a date. 

They start over to the door, slowly... very slowly. 

Kristin- Squig...? 

Squiggy- Wha-at? Can't ya walk any farther than that? 

Kristin- Not that. If that movie was supposed to be a date for Shirley and Carmine, then... 

Squiggy- Laverne and Len went, too. Yeah, I know that. 

Kristin- No. (getting frustrated) Then doesn't that mean it was a date for them, too? 

Squiggy- For who? 

Kristin (completely frustrated)- It was a double date, Squig! Lenny went with Laverne on a date! 

Squiggy- So? (he finally gets it) Hey, wait a minute! 

Kristin- I think we oughtta look into this little date. 

They leave, but not very quickly. 

  
**TWO**   
Laverne & Shirley's apartment, girls' bedroom 

Shirley- That was a horrible movie! 

Laverne- You actually noticed there was a movie? Everytime I looked at you two, you were too busy making out. (pause) Yeah, it was a horrible movie and I actually hadta watch it! 

Shirley- Who wanted to see that movie, anyway? 

Laverne- It was Len's pick. When that guy got crushed, I thought Lenny was gonna start cheering. 

Shirley- So, was this the first time you've seen a whole movie at a theater? 

Laverne- Yeah... (realizes that was a shot at her) Hey! That's not true! I saw the whole movie the first time I went with Len. 

Shirley- Other than his poor chice for a movie, I'm glad he came otherwise he'd probably have been moping around without Lauren here. 

There's a knock at the door. 

Shirley- Now, who could that be at this time? 

Laverne- Anyone. (she leaves the bedroom, entering the living room, and goes over to the door; she opens the door) Hiya, Kristin... 

Kristin- Don't "Hiya, Kristin" me! (she storms in) 

Laverne- Did I just missin' som'en? 

Kristin- You went to the movies with Lenny. 

Laverne- Yeah, so? 

Kristin- She admitted it! I gotta sit down. (she sits on the couch) 

Laverne- What're you talkin' about? 

Kristin- Have you no shame!? 

Laverne- Are we talkin' in code here or som'en 'cause I'm confused. 

Kristin- You went out with Lenny! What's so confusing about that!? 

Laverne- Kristin, come back when you make a little more sense, huh? 

Kristin What're you, denying it now? You and Lenny were on a date! That's pretty simple! 

Laverne- Excuse me? 

Krstin (gets up)- How could ou do that to Lauren? 

Laverne- But... 

Kristin- I don't believe this! 

Laverne- Kris- 

Kristin- You two were almost like sisters!... Well, maybe cousins... but you were close! I can't understand... (she leaves, continuing her tyrade) 

Laverne goes back into the bedroom in a daze. 

Shirley- What was that yelling about? 

Laverne walks blindly over to her bed and sits on the end of it. 

Shirley- Laverne? (nothing) Vernie? 

Laverne (still dazed)- Kristin thinks it was a date... 

Shirley- Awe... (realizes the situation) Oh!... 

  
**THREE**   
boys' apartment 

The door flies open and Squiggy comes in. He slams it, waking up Lenny, who amazingly doesn't fall onto the floor. 

Squiggy (angry)- You! (he points at him) You! 

Lenny- Me? What me? 

Squiggy- I should feed Jeffrey to BooBooKitty! 

Lenny- Hey!... Why're you so mad? 

Squiggy- You went to that movie! 

Lenny- You're mad cuz I went to a movie? 

Squiggy- You went with Laverne! 

Lenny- And Shirley and Carmine. 

Squiggy- Shirley and Carmine were on a date. The four of ya had yourselves a little double date! 

Lenny- What!? (he sits up and jumps off the bunk) You're crazy! 

Squiggy- Am I? {Don't answer that!} 

Lenny- Yeah! {I said don't answer that!} 

Squiggy- Lauren goes away for a few days and ya go on dates with other girls! 

Lenny- I did not! If it was a date, I wouldn't've atually watched the movie! 

Squiggy- Reverse p-sychology, huh? Well, I think I'm gonna go stay with Krissy... someone I can trust. (he turns, opens the door, goes out, and slams the door behind him) 

Lenny- Did I miss som'en? 

  
**FOUR**   
next morning, girls' apartment 

Shirley is making breakfast and Laverne is sitting at the table. 

Shirley- I can't believe ya actually slept through the boys' argument last night. 

Laverne- I'm a sound sleeper. I can't help it. 

Shirley comes over to the table and puts a plate in front of Laverne and sits down with her own. 

Laverne- So, you think that Squig thought it was a date, too? Geez, I guess that's what happens when Kristin and Squiggy get together about som'en. 

Shirley- I heard the whole thing. Doesn't mean I understood it, but I think that's what he meant. I think ya'd better straighten this out with them before one of 'em calls Lauren... otherwise she'll break the sound barrier in speed gettin' back here to wring both your necks! 

Laverne- I tried to figure out what Kristin was saying. We can't talk to either one of them. 

Suddenly, there's a loud noise from the dumb-waiter. 

Shirley- Sounds like somethin' just started again. 

A minute later, the door opens and Lenny comes in. 

Lenny- Am I still welcome? (he gives them that pathetic look that could just melt your JuJubees) 

Shirley- Of course you are! Kristin and Squiggy are just assuming all of this! 

Laverne- Yeah! They don't know I sat there bored the whole time. 

Lenny- You were bored? 

Shirley- We need to explain to them that that wasn't a date. 

Laverne- Shirl, you talk to 'em. They won't listen to us! 

Shirley- Me? 

Lenny- Yeah, you were there! You can vouch for us! 

Laverne- But Shirl and Carmine were making our the whole time. 

Lenny- They were? 

Laverne- Yeah. (to Shirley) C'mon, ya gotta talk to 'em! 

Shirley- Oh, alright! Just stop begging! 

  
**FIVE**   
Lauren & Kristin's apartment, a few minutes later 

Kristin and Squiggy are eating breakfast. 

The door opens and Shirley comes in. 

Shirley- Hi. 

Kristin- Hiya, Shirl. 

Squiggy- Hello. 

Shirley- Can I talk to ya? 

Kristin- Pick your topic carefully. 

Shirley- I just wanted to say that when we were at the movie Carmine and I didn't see any of it, Laverne was bored the whole time, and Lenny was practically glued to the screen. It wasn't a date for them. (she turns back to the door) 

Kristin and Squiggy start whispering quickly back and forth. 

Kristin- Shirl, wait a sec, please? 

Shirley (turns back around to face them)- Yes? 

Kristin- We spent alot of time talkin' about this last night and, although we're not too happy about having not been told that it wasn't a date, we wanna apologize to them. Right, Squig? (she nudges him) 

Squiggy- Yeah, I guess. 

Shirley- Great! I'll go tell 'em and then get them up here. 

  
**SIX**   
downstairs, a few minutes later 

Shirley (coming in the door)- I've got great news!... (she stops suddenly) Laverne, where'd Lenny go? I just talked to Kristin and Squiggy and they wanna apologize to the both of you. (nothing; she goes over and sits next to her) Vernie, what's wrong? You're not telling me somethin'. 

Laverne- Lauren ain't gonna be too happy when she gets back. 

Shirley- Why not? 

Laverne- I was bored at the movie becuase I thought it was gonna be a date. 

Shirley- What? 

Laverne- That's why Len left. After you left, I sorta, well, tried to move in. 

Shirley- How could you do that?! 

Laverne- Shirl, if I knew, I'd tell ya... If I knew, I wouldn'ta done that! 

Shirley- Kristin and Squig are gonna have a field day with this. 

Laverne- I know. 

Shirley- Go aplogize. To Kristin and Squiggy, to Len, and, when Lauren gets back, you're gonna tell her everythin' and apologize to her about it. Got it? 

Laverne- Got it. 

  
**SEVEN**   
a few days later 

Lauren pulls her car p in front of the building. She gets out and stops at the bottom of the steps. She takes a deep breath, goes up the steps, and into the building, up to the fourth floor. Lauren goes over to her and Kristin's apartment and knocks on the door. 

The door opens. 

Kristin- Lauren! 

Lauren- Kristin! (she goes in and leaves her suitcase by the closet)vKristin- So, how was your trip? 

Lauren- Wonderful! I even went to the carnival. I've never gone to it before! (sighs) But it's good to be back. (her smile fades and nearly turns into a look of guilt) 

Kristin (sees Lauren's expression change)- What's wrong? 

Lauren- Well, I sorta ran into an old friend of mine from high school... 

Kristin- Do I know him? 

Lauren- He went to my high school, not yours... You don't know 'im. 

Kristin- Oh. 

Lauren- Anyway, we sorta went on a date. 

Kristin slaps a hand over her mouth. 

Lauren- I gotta tell Len and get rid of this guilty feeling. 

Kristin- Why don't we gather everyone down in Laverne and Shirley's place and have a little welcome home party for ya and you can tell him there. 

Lauren (thinks about it)- Okay. 

  
**EIGHT**   
girls' apartment, an hour later 

As Kristin said, everyone's there. They've all been asking Lauren about stuff except Laverne and Lenny, who've been avoiding her. Lauren finally gets a free moment and catches Laverne. 

Lauren- Vernie, are you avoiding me? 

Laverne- Uh... actually, yeah, I was trying to. 

Lauren- Why? And why is Len doing the same? 

Laverne- I think I can take care of both. Um... while you were gone, uh... the four of us--Shirl Carmine, me, and Len--we went to the movies. Well, I sorta was hoping for it to be a date for me and Len, but he wasn't interested. (she turns away quickly, fearing rage) 

Lauren just stands there. 

Laverne (slowly turns around)- You ain't mad? 

Lauren- Naw... uh, could ya get Lenny over here? I sorta gotta tell 'im som'em. 

Laverne- Sure. (she goes over to Lenny and practically drags him over to Lauren) Here he is. (she walks away) 

Lenny- Laverne told ya? 

Lauren- Yeah. 

Lenny- You're not mad? 

Lauren- No. (pause) Len, I gotta confess som'en. While I was back home, I sorta met up with a guy I knew in high school and we went on a date... just one. 

Lenny (smiles)- So, we're even? 

Lauren- Surprisingly, yeah! 

They hug, then kiss, then Lenny dips her, then we fade out because that's my smut and if you want some, you can write your own! ::wink:: 

  


THE END :)~ 


End file.
